Taking the Animosity out of California Divorce

The divorce process evokes a range of emotions, from anger and guilt to regret and depression. These feelings are normal and expected, but they can be extremely problematic when they have a negative effect on the proceedings. While it may not seem possible to have a happy, satisfying divorce in California, there are tips you may consider to reduce the animosity.

Implications of a Hostile Divorce


There are multiple impacts for divorcing spouses who let emotion and anxiety take over during the proceedings. When hostilities erupt, the implications may include:

  • Higher Costs: Spouses that cannot get past their anger over a divorce tend to fight every step of the way, so they can “win” their position. Many disagreements over property distribution, alimony, and child care must go to court for a determination, which increases court costs and attorneys’ fees.
  • A Drawn-Out Divorce Process: For protracted disputes over divorce issues, several court appearances may be necessary. The higher the hostility levels, the longer it will take to complete the divorce process.
  • Effects on Children: Watching their parents go through a hotly contested divorce is also stressful for children. They are more likely to develop emotional issues and perform poorly in school, particularly when made to feel like they have to choose a side.
  • Health Issues: Stress is one emotional condition that also has consequences for your physical health. Studies have shown that divorce is linked to an increased risk of heart attack, especially for women. Parties may also develop other heart-related issues and ulcers, as well as long-term depression.

Reduce the Tension


There are a few ways you can lower your stress levels and move through the divorce process more effectively, such as:

  • Keep Children Out of the Fray: If you are feeling hostile toward your spouse in a divorce, make sure children are not part of the battle. Do not have conversations regarding disputes when children are present and never force them to take sides.
  • Focus on the Priorities: You will surely seek certain outcomes in your divorce, so make sure you concentrate on the ways to accomplish your goals. Avoid viewing the divorce process as a way to punish your spouse.

Retain an Experienced Lawyer to Assist with Divorce in California

Probably the most important step you can take to avoid stress and hostility in a divorce is to retain a knowledgeable, compassionate attorney to represent your interests. For more information on ways you can make your divorce a smooth process, please contact the Law Office of Charles D. Stark. We work with clients in Santa Rosa, CA and throughout Sonoma County, and we are here to help.

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